• A good referral from a trusted source is the best referral. I strongly advise not picking someone from a list no matter how authentic that list or association appears. It may be tempting to web-search but please note that, because of the confidential nature of the process, authenticity of any testimonials cannot be verified. Also make sure that the therapist is registered with a reputable membership body.
• Ask your GP or other Healthcare professional if they could recommend someone. They are best placed to have had experience and knowledge of therapists they may have used in the past. Frequently friends and family may be in a position to recommend a therapist whose work they are familiar with.
• Decide if you want a same-gender or opposite gender therapist. This can be a central consideration.
• If possible, speak to the therapist prior to making an appointment. There seems to be a trend of late for some therapists to only operate bookings online or through email, without any telephone contact. Most professionals find this disturbing. Speaking to a therapist briefly prior to meeting helps to give both of you an idea of each other and is considered, by many, as a vital part of the process.
• Establish if they are a full-time or part-time practitioner. The answer could indicate the quality of service and professionalism you can expect.
• If you have health insurance and wish to claim therapy expenses please check with the company if the therapist is eligible for their particular scheme. As I am a registered member of the BACP my services are not always covered in Ireland.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions of your potential therapist. As a client you are entitled to clarify the service being provided and a professional therapist won’t have an issue with the questions.

Does the therapist specialise in dealing with any particular types of issues? However, it is important to be assured that the therapist is also familiar with a more eclectic form of therapy and not just one mode. Find out what experience they have and how long they have been practicing? Experience ultimately trumps qualifications in this profession.These questions will help you decide if you’re happy to book a session.

While you may not want to discuss such matters over the phone it is also important to clarify that they are experienced in dealing with the issues you wish to discuss. This needs to be done as soon as possible.

Other relevant questions include:-

• How long are the sessions, and how often does the therapist generally schedule sessions? Be aware that some therapists operate a strict “50 minute hour” policy which may not suit you. My hour session lasts 60 minutes.
• How much does a session or course of sessions cost?
• Make sure that the therapist is a registered member of a professional association and abides by a Code of Ethics and Code of Practice. Practitioners may posses an unending string of qualifications but the absence of these core values render any professional practice impotent.
• Check if there are there any issues that they may be uncomfortable in dealing with? Are they allied to any particular outlook or ethos? Are there issues they will not deal with?
• Ask if he or she has a web site you can access. This is a useful method of finding out the professional details of your potential therapist.

When you have a good referral and have asked the relevant questions hopefully you will feel comfortable with the therapist.

• The therapeutic space ought to be a safe, non-threatening, non-confrontational, non-judgemental, supportive, caring (in an therapeutic sense), professional and 100% confidential (subject to the law) place to visit.
• If you feel that the therapy lacks focus or direction you are not getting the service you are paying for. At times therapists will unwittingly ignore the primary reasons for you being in therapy. They may concentrate on other matters you might feel have little relevance. This is something to watch out for and don’t hesitate to mention anything you’re uncomfortable with. Usually the therapist will have a good reason for their suggestions but it is up to them to make those reasons clear to you. Therapy can be expensive and it is important that the time allotted is used effectively to help you achieve your aims. It is not the therapist’s role to determine the priorities of your life for you. This is rare, but it is something to watch out for nonetheless.
• A professional therapist will have the room prepared before you arrive and will not take phone calls or attend to any business other than yours during your therapy session. If the therapist is operating from their home they need to have a separate, professional, appropriately laid-out, dedicated space from where they practice. If the client is uncomfortable in the therapeutic space the process is severely ruptured. If a therapist is operating from their home it is also reasonable to assume that there is an appropriate fee reduction. This is bearing in mind the absence of many costs associated with a commercial premises administration.
• The therapist should never act in a way or ask you to act in a way that is against your morals and values. If a therapist ever asks you to do something unacceptable and does not respect your wishes then leave immediately. Remember though that you are paying for these sessions, you are in control and never have to do anything you do not want to do.
• If you ever have a particular problem or disagreement with your therapist, it is vital to bring this out in the open. A professional therapist will listen respectfully to your concerns and appropriately deal with any misunderstandings when and if they arise.

Ultimately the decision is yours to make and this is simply a guide. The best guide a person can follow is their own intuition. Ask yourself honestly whether you believe this person can help you or not and go with your gut.

If you have found the therapist who fulfills your needs you need to be prepared to partake actively in the sessions so that they may best serve you. The following are typical conditions required for a successful therapeutic relationship:

• Therapy involves sharing one’s innermost thoughts and feelings as openly and honestly as one can. This involves taking the risk of sharing some deepest fears and concerns. This is usually scary for most people but you have taken steps to ensure that this environment is safe so trust, open up, and this will help you to make progress quickly.
• Don’t sit back and wait for the miracle cure. You need to actively work on your issues with your therapist. You are the only person who can fix your life, the role of the therapist is to enable you to gain a new perceptive so that you can begin to see just how things can change.
• Complete any “homework” you are given. Homework is designed to help the benefits of therapy to extend beyond the hour of therapy.
• Reflect on your therapy between sessions. Be ready to discuss any thoughts, feelings or dreams that you have about the previous sessions or any insights that have gained since your last session.
• Do not be late for appointments. Unlike other professionals who may keep you waiting or may be able to alter appointments at short notice a therapist has a specific hour set aside for you. If you are late, then you are missing out on time that was reserved for you. The therapist has no obligation to allow the session run over time because you showed up late. Most likely the therapist will have another client arriving shortly after your allotted time ends.
  Another reason for not being late for the time you have agreed you will use to work on creating a better you, is that by being late you are sending yourself a subconscious message that this work is not something you truly value.
• If you cannot make an appointment be sure and cancel in advance so the therapist can reschedule (usually 24 to 48 hours). Usually therapists charge the full fee for missed appointments that are not cancelled in advance because you are paying for the therapist’s time which was allotted for you.

These are a few questions you can use to establish how you feel overall following the first session:

• Were you happy with the way the session went?
• Did you get a sense that you could be comfortable with this therapist? Remember that each therapist creates a different environment and you have to decide if the atmosphere felt right to you.
• Do you feel that you will be able to trust this therapist?
• Did the therapist push you to reveal things that were uncomfortable too quickly?
• Did they dismiss or brush over issues which you felt needed to be noted?
• Did you feel you were properly listened to and heard?
• Was the therapist professional in manner?
• Did your therapist explain how therapy works and were you able to set some goals?
• During the session did you feel you were in a safe and secure environment where your privacy was assured? You have a right to expect absolute privacy and confidentiality (subject to the law) in therapy and it is very important that you get a sense of this if you are to build a truly therapeutic relationship.

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